DEALING WITH FEAR & FEAR OF REJECTION
"It is not rejection itself that people fear, it is the possible consequences of rejection. Preparing to accept those consequences and viewing rejection as a learning experience that will bring you closer to success, will not only help you to conquer the fear of rejection, but help you to appreciate rejection itself." ~ Robert Foster Bennett
I particularly love those moments when I tune out the outside world to give myself some quiet time to search, ponder, and pray on those things that matter most.
People often ask me how I get the courage to take a leap of faith or how I manage to deal with life’s challenges and obstacles. And my answer to them is always “By being still."
I find that these moments of silence provide the best environment for self-reflection, and it is usually during these moments that I always manage to figure out how to handle the challenges I am facing and how I finally make those tough decision that require me to take a leap of faith and go for it. It is also during these moments of silence that I get my inspiration to keep pushing on as I continue working on myself and as I continue to work on fulfilling my life's purpose.
Yesterday was one of those silent days for me. One that brought with it great inspiration that I would like to share with you all with the hopes that it will resonate with you and hopefully get you through that challenging moment in your life or help you make that decision to take a leap of faith.
So recently a new business opportunity came my way and even though I loved the idea because it aligned with something I am passionate about, I still had my doubts on whether I should pursue it. Majority of my doubt came from the fact that this business was going to completely take me out of my comfort zone into new territories that I was not sure I was ready for. And in the process, I started worrying that even though the opportunity is great, I might fail because it is something new to me. So, like I always do, once I had done all my research on the company, their products, and their business model, I went on to pray about it. And I could feel it deep within me that I should go for it, but I still could feel the fear creeping in. Now, if there is one thing I have learnt over the years as I worked on starting a business or as I worked on myself is that fear can cripple you and stop you from living a fulfilled, happy, and purposeful life. And so, I always try my best to not let fear get in the way of me and that great opportunity God has in store for me. And the way I deal with fear is by facing it head on and using it as fuel to help me accomplish my goals. And so, despite the feelings of worry and fear running through me, I decide to take that leap of faith and go for it.
While working on building my new business I was faced with some challenges as I tried to recruit business partners who would help me grow my business. I was faced with rejection which led me to that place of doubt again. I started wondering if I had made the right decision pursuing this venture. I wondered if this was even meant for me or if I had made the decision to soon and it was not the right time for me to pursue this opportunity. I questioned my ability to recruit and sell by telling myself just how much I suck at selling. And with all that negative self-talk, I just wanted to quit. It made a lot of sense since I was still new in the business, and I had not invested much time and money into it yet. But right as I was getting ready to call up one of my partners to tell him I was leaving the business; I had this feeling in my gut telling me to keep pushing on. I did not quite get it because as far as I was concerned, I was failing miserably at getting my feet off the ground and the psychological warfare I was engaging in at this point was drowning and exhausting. I just wanted it all to end. But I could not ignore the gut feeling telling me to keep at it because the last thing I wanted to do was make a decision I would live to regret (I am not a fun of regrets. My philosophy on life is that I would rather fail than live worrying/wondering about what would have been). This only meant one thing, I had to get on my knees again and pray about it and remain still so I can receive the guidance I needed to move forward.
In that moment of being still, I felt so much peace as I received the answers to my prayers. I was reminded that nothing good comes easy and that sometimes we must go through these tough times to come out stronger. See, whenever I find myself in these kinds of situations where I am questioning my ability to get things done, rather than focusing on the negative, I try to seek the learning opportunity in the situation. This being a new venture that is outside what I am usually used to, requires me to gain new skills and sharpen some of my dormant skills and abilities. And as such, the challenges I face as I work on growing my business provide a lot of learning opportunities which when taken advantage of and if mastered well, will put me at a better position to grow a successful business. I was also reminded that rejection is all part of life and that it is not something to view negatively. Sometimes we must face rejection to be redirected to something better. And in no way does it mean that you are not good enough. As Mark Amend said “Rejection doesn’t mean you are not good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer.” Lastly, I was reminded that God will never put more on my plate than I can handle. Therefore, if this business is meant for me then He will see to it that I thrive. I have learnt that God’s timing is always perfect, and it is not in my place to question him rather continue to work diligently towards my goals until I am able to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I encourage anyone who is currently in a position where fear is stopping you from taking that leap of faith and or anyone who is facing any challenges to keep your head up and keep pushing on. Do not let fear stop you from being that great person you are destined to be or let it be the reason you give up on your life’s purpose. It might seem like you are drowning but remember God will never let you go through something He knows you cannot endure. He knows your strengths and abilities and He will see to it that your hard work is not in vain. But this will only happen if you do your part. Take time to learn from each situation you find yourself in and trust that He has your back, and He will see you through it all at the right time, for His perfect timing.
To overcome the fear and fear of rejection you must:
1. Let go of the need to always be right.
2. Use rejection as a vessel for growth; Learn from it.
3. Keep an open mind.
4. Remember that rejection doesn't mean you're not good enough.
5. Challenge your fears by facing them instead of trying to avoid them.
6. Learn to embrace your flaws.
7. Stop caring too much about what others think.
8. Turn that fear into fuel.
9. Believe in yourself and trust that you can accomplish anything.
BELIEVE IT By Jamie Kern Lima